The AVN Awards were disappointing this year. The AVN Awards are the porn industry’s version of the Oscars (although Golden Globes might be closer). If you’ve seen BOOGIE NIGHTS there’s a sequence at the AVN Awards.
Porn stars all dress up, attempt to look glamorous and classy, win awards for such categories as “Best Anal Sex Scene” and “Best Director – Comedy.”
I’m sure they’ve been handed out thirty/forty years in one form or another, but it’s only been a few years ago that Showtime started airing them (taped delayed -- by five months). .
The first year I saw it I laughed my ass off. How could you not when a trashy blonde with tears in her eyes thanked “Jesus and all the guys that fucked me in the ass?” How much would you pay to hear Nicole Kidman say that at the Academy Awards?
What made it additionally funny was that none of it was intended to be. This wasn’t a sketch. No one was winking at the camera. The sincerity was both poignant and okay – I’m going to hell – hilarious.
Showtime is still airing the show every year so obviously people (men I suspect) are watching. What I don’t know is whether, like me, they’re watching for the laughs, or cheap thrills, or worse – they’ve got bets down on these categories.
But I find it a guilty pleasure. At least I used to.
Watching the 2020 awards (recorded before all the lockdowns), it just felt sad. The speeches were the same so they felt like the same joke over and over. The novelty was completely gone. And what remained was the sadness. You know these are people who mostly come from broken homes and heartbreaking childhoods. You also know the career span of a porn star is just a few years. And then what?
I don’t even know how the industry survives today. There are all these free Pornhub websites where you can see clips of anything you want for free. You used to pay to see Stormy Daniels. I was surprised that they’re still making “movies.”
And as I watched these people try desperately to hold onto the luster of better days I thought to myself – this is now ALL award shows in 2020. Even Sam Rubin & Mindy Burbano don’t seem that funny anymore.
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